Tony has always been hard to figure out. Without being mean or a bad parent for saying that let me explain. He walked LATE, potty trained LATE, didn't talk until after 3, did a language acquisition program for 2 years and still hadn't made very much progress at all, struggled through kinder, went on to first, continued to struggle. At some points we would think, this is it! only to have him regress again. As this past school year came to a close, we went back and forth on whether or not he should continue to 2nd or repeat 1st. As a teacher, I would work all year long to help my struggling students get where they needed to be to be successful and then to have my own child not being successful - you can just go ahead and rip my heart out. Now as part of the instructional team for my district, I sat last Spring watching the director of assessment threw up retention numbers on the screen, all I saw was Tony all over the board. I eventually had to walk out to compose myself. If all that they were sharing on retention was true, how could I dare do that to my son! I finally put aside my teacher instincts and let my parent instincts preside. Richard and I completed all retention forms for Tony and being the process of explaining to our 6 year old why he wouldn't be going on to 2nd grade. It took all summer long for him to understand, for his brothers to understand, for family to understand, but through all the comments and shocked responses, I know as a PARENT that this is what Tony was going to need.
Now that school has started and Tony IS in 1st grade again, I can't even begin to think of the words to describe how amazing he is doing. While he is not soaring above every last student, but he is right on target for all other 1st graders. Right out the gate, Tony came home reading his weekly passages, reading his spelling words, writing/spelling his words. He was upset the first week because they did not do a spelling test and he was well prepared. The following he cried because he made a 92 on his spelling test (last year never phased him that he made a 20 every week) And every week since he has made 100, after 100, after 100. His handwriting is BEAUTIFUL and he is left handed! He is not happy that they do not do math homework every night like he did last year so I've pulled out extra math things for him. He is excited about school and he is seeing/understanding how successful he is! Multiple times through the week, he will ask to see his grades on the Parent Portal wanting to know why something isn't a 100.
Well, during our first instructional team meeting this school year, the retention numbers were plastered up on the screen. This time instead of being so upset about it all - I pipped up and expressed my experience. Retention can work - stop saying it never works. Look at my son and see how successful he is, how excited and eager he is about his school work! He has already moved past the fact that his friends are in 2nd, he has many new friends to add to his list of buddies.
So as worried as we were throughout the entire summer, we now know that the toughest decision we had to make was the right one.
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